Gear and Gadgets Week: The Church Key

Gear and Gadgets WeekBy which of course I mean the ubiquitous bottle opener, the one thing every household has, and every serious beer drinker has multiples of.

Simpsons talking bottle openerMyself, aside from the usual types of bottle openers, have a variety with different features: a beer mug themed one (magnet to stick to the fridge), which the handle has sadly broken; a keychain opener which goes everywhere with me; one with a built-in bottle stopper/cover; and two talking openers (yes, one of which is that Simpsons one).

I thought it would be fun to take a look at some novelty and unique bottle openers—some you might not have just lying around the house.

Original Ring Thing - ring with integrated bottle openerOriginal Ring Thing

The name is accurate, if boring: it’s a ring with a built-in bottle opener. Found it over on ThinkGeek (where it’s available for $7.99), it’s clever and alleviates the need to carry an opener separately. If you don’t mind explaining what it is or, you know, being that hardcore.

Forked Up Opener - bottle opener and fork in oneForked Up Opener

Hmmm, I don’t know about the punny name, but this one looks fun. And a bit impractical—I’m not sure if you could successfully eat with it, and the main benefit you gain is from not having to get up from your meal to fetch a bottle opener to open another bottle of beer. In other words, to make it worthwhile you’d have to bring all the beer to the table with you ahead of time.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Available from Perpetual Kid for $9.99.

Credit card bottle openerCredit card opener

Made from stainless steel and fits in your wallet. The only thing cooler would be to actually have this integrated with your real credit cards.

You can pick these up all over the ‘net for a few bucks, mostly.

Star Trek Enterprise bottle openerStar Trek Enterprise

Once I saw this one I had to link to it. You know I did. This is geek value only, I admit it. But just imagine every time you open a new beer with this, you could say, "To boldly go where no one has gone before!"

Yeah, that was bad. Sorry.

Available from Red5 in the UK for 12 pounds.

Dalek talking bottle openerDalek Bottle Opener

Well, given that I linked to the Enterprise opener, I had to link to this one too. Come on, Dr. Who fans, you know you want it. I mean, it talks! It’s a Dalek and it talks. Like a Dalek.

If you don’t know how cool this is, well, I’m sorry.

Available from Amazon UK for 6.49 pounds.


  1. My personal favorite bottle opener: The Pope-ener. A bottle opener purchased from the gift shop of the Vatican with the bust of Pope John Paul II engraved in the handle!

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